Recently the Campaign For Commercial Free Childhood filed a complain with the FCC against Baby Einstein for "false advertising" and engaged in other legal shenanigans with them over this. My astonishment is not with any of this, but on the hoards of angry parents that have risen up demanding refunds from the Baby Einstein Company in shocked horror that *gasp* it turns out Baby Einstein wasn't really making geniuses out of their children. Parenting On Shine website reports that "This news has rocked the parenting world, which had embraced the videos as a miraculous child-rearing staple."
Are you freaking kidding me? False advertising or not, what person honestly buys into an idea that watching TV is good for their kids? Seriously? You thought that by plopping your kids down in front of a screen instead of spending quality time with them you were doing them a favor? That bright colors and hand puppets were doing anything more productive then amusing your kids so you didn't have to deal with them? How convenient for you.
You want to know what I think? I think there is a whole generation of kids being raised with TV as their full time babysitter, teacher, and guide to the world and somewhere in the back of all these adults minds was the knowledge that they were being shitty parents and failing miserably at the job they could never admit they didn't want as much as they thought they did. So when one jackass somewhere says "Oh! These movies will make your kid smarter!" they all latched onto it and said to one another "Oh, I AM being a good parent if I just make my kids watch this specific program. Then I can drink my coffee in peace without having to deal with the crying, the screaming, the scraped knees, and all those other pesky things commonly known as parenting." And suddenly they could drink that coffee free from the gnawing guilt they had previous been so frustrated by... and they were happy. I'm not buying for a second that anyone was really that dumb to believe that watching TV is good for their children, I think they just wanted an excuse... ANY excuse... to not spend the time doing all the hard parts of parenting.
For all your parents out there who are reading this going "What! Baby Einstein was misleading! I was misled! It's not my fault! Jenna, you're just a judgemental bitch!" but who know in their heart of hearts that I'm right, I have a message for you. NUT UP! You brought these little things into the world and made the choice to keep them so now it's your responsibility to do what needs to be done. Play with your kid, teach them the life lessons that they need to know, discipline them and help them grow into decent people. That isn't going above and beyond the call of duty or being a martyr... that's called doing your job.
Personally, I love Baby Einstein because every once in a while you do just need a break. Everyone, even the best best parents, are going to have those days when they get to their limit and need to drink their coffee in peace, and putting in a Baby Einstein DVD for 30 minutes so you can rejuvenate and be a good parents again is in my opinion astronomically better then putting on Sponge Bob. Having "one of those days" doesn't make you a bad parent, it makes you human. But don't lie to yourself about it and try to convince anyone that them watching it is for their own good... just enjoy your coffee, savor the moment of relative serenity, then get back into your life.
Oh and for anyone who really is gullible enough to think that flickering pixels in your child's face was going to make them Mensa members... you're stupid. Sorry.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
"My Child Is An Honor Student" bumper stickers
In searching for words to describe my hatred for "My Child Is An Honor Student" bumper stickers I realized that it really all stems back to a much more general hatred.
I hate 90% of bumper stickers or window decals in the world and the reason for my hatred can be summed up in four simple words... WHO GIVES A SHIT!?!?! When we get to be friends I will be interested in what club you are in, how your child is doing in school, which church you attend, and where your political affiliations lie. But guess what, we're not best buds, on the contrary our entire relationship consists of you being next to me on the interstate at this moment in our lives and all I care about is that you don't drive so close to me and that you stay the frick in your own lane. That's it... really... that's the extent of my concern for you. I do not care what sports team you spend your weekends cheering for, I don't care what your thoughts are on global warming/the 2nd amendment/drunk driving/your wife/etc, I don't care what you'd "rather be driving", and for the love of all that is good and holy the little kid peeing on something isn't witty anymore... it's been done so let it die.
But back to the point, My Kid's an Honor Student... really? Do the kids those refer to even like them? My favorite though are when they are from an elementary school... woohoo! Elementary school honor roll! What do you have to do to be on the honor roll in elementary school? Do you really feel the need to brag about the fact that your child is at the developmentally appropriate level for their age? Congratulations... your kid doesn't bite the other children... they can color inside the lines... gold star for your epic parenting. When I was in elementary school the kid with downs was on the honor roll.
I hate 90% of bumper stickers or window decals in the world and the reason for my hatred can be summed up in four simple words... WHO GIVES A SHIT!?!?! When we get to be friends I will be interested in what club you are in, how your child is doing in school, which church you attend, and where your political affiliations lie. But guess what, we're not best buds, on the contrary our entire relationship consists of you being next to me on the interstate at this moment in our lives and all I care about is that you don't drive so close to me and that you stay the frick in your own lane. That's it... really... that's the extent of my concern for you. I do not care what sports team you spend your weekends cheering for, I don't care what your thoughts are on global warming/the 2nd amendment/drunk driving/your wife/etc, I don't care what you'd "rather be driving", and for the love of all that is good and holy the little kid peeing on something isn't witty anymore... it's been done so let it die.
But back to the point, My Kid's an Honor Student... really? Do the kids those refer to even like them? My favorite though are when they are from an elementary school... woohoo! Elementary school honor roll! What do you have to do to be on the honor roll in elementary school? Do you really feel the need to brag about the fact that your child is at the developmentally appropriate level for their age? Congratulations... your kid doesn't bite the other children... they can color inside the lines... gold star for your epic parenting. When I was in elementary school the kid with downs was on the honor roll.
Welcome to my blog
This is a blog. A blog I have started so I can rant and rave and generally be a semi-bitter and angry smart ass about all the things in this world that are stupid and that I hate. I was reading a book about accessing your creative side and it said I should write more... since I don't have any real profound or important thoughts that need to be imparted to the world I decided to go a different direction and instead pick a subject where I would have no lack of material to write about. There are lots of stupid things in this world that have rightfully earned my hate... let's explore them together.
Oh, and if I offend anyone in the course of these rantings (and I'm certain that I will) I'm sorry you were offended. That last part's a lie... I'm really not sorry at all.
Oh, and if I offend anyone in the course of these rantings (and I'm certain that I will) I'm sorry you were offended. That last part's a lie... I'm really not sorry at all.
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