First off is there anything more infuriating in this world then having to pay for parking? The idea that I have to give someone money so that I have the right to turn off my car and stand outside of it makes me want to go on a killing spree, but seriously people... at a hospital?!?!
Who decided this was a good business move? I have this mental image of all these old rich white guys in their over priced suits sitting in the hospital corporate office brainstorming about how to squeeze just a few more dollars out of those stupid sick people and their loved ones and someone came up with the idea of charging people for parking. "I saw a little girl come in here with her mother this morning to say goodbye to her dying father... what if we made her give us $4 for every two hours she spent in here with him? I bet they would be so preoccupied with things like 'how are we ever going to go on without him?' and 'how are we going to pay the rent?' that they would cough up those $4 without a fight at all!" "Here here! Jolly oh!" shout the rest of the old men as their raise their little glasses of of cognac in a cheer. (I'm not sure why but all the executives are British and have handlebar moustaches in this fantasy... if anyone has an explanation for that I'd love to hear it.)
Really, I just want them to be forced to grow the balls to say it to my face. "Yes Jenna, we know that you're in active labor... oh, you need to see a doctor right now? That's such a coincidence because we need that $4... You were too busy grabbing your suitcase and calling your mother after your water broke to think to stop by the ATM for some cash? Excuses, excuses... I'm sorry but you can park down the street and walk... yes, we share your concern about the baby falling out while you're in the middle of the crosswalk, that's a concern we will all have to deal with."
It costs enough to go to the hospital at all, and now they want to steal my vending machine money too? Dear hospital and you're fancy parking lot, feel free to lick my taint.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
ppl who use txt spk
how lzy can u b? wat n the world can b so important tht u dnt have time 2 type 1 xtra fucking vowel n a wrd?
Ok, I went into this with the intention of typing this whole entry in text speak but realized very quickly I was not going to get through much more without getting so furious I'd throw my laptop out the window. But seriously... how lazy can you possibly be? Is it really that difficult or time consuming to type a vowel? Are you really so busy and important that the extra effort expended typing the E at the end of the word "be" in your facebook status is going to make you late for your next big meeting? No, you're just a lazy little shit. In fact, in honor of how lazy people who type that way are I'm going to rename it... it is no longer text speak (or txt spk), the new name for this language is Lazy Fuck (or lzy fck).
I will be the first to admit that I'm not a super highly motivated person, in fact in a lot of ways you could rightly call me kinda lazy, but it is a testament to how lazy of a society we live in when a three letter word like "you" becomes too much for us to handle. And I wish... oh how I wish!... it was just kids doing it, but no, people from all walks of life are killing their braincells communicating in Lazy Fuck instead of English. I used to nanny a little boy and whenever his mom would need to tell me something she would text me from work using Lazy Fuck. Seriously? This is probably the only "adult" communication I will get to participate in during my whole work day and I'm forced to waste it talking to what I can only assume is a 12 year old girl because I refuse to believe any self respecting 45 year old business women would type this way. I wish I was kidding when I said that communicating with the little boy required substantially less translation for me to understand then talking to her did. Congratulations... your two year old has a better grasp of the English language then you do apparently.
People will justify it "but it's just so much faster! Why would I want to waste time typing something long when I could just type something super short?" Because the rest of the world, and by that I mean those of us who are literate, can't understand a single thing you say. If you're bothering to type it at all I can only assume it's because you want people to read it, if not you're wasting time anyway so either way your logic is fatally flawed. Those of us who speak and type fluent English have to read something you wrote in Lazy Fuck ten times to figure out what it is you're trying to say... and most of us don't even bother because we know that typing in Lazy Fuck has made the odds that you're saying something worthwhile dwindle down to next to nothing and we don't want to waste our time. And if that weren't enough of a reason to use real words, you could just do it because you don't want to contribute to the stupidity rapidly overtaking our culture or just because you yourself don't want to come across as a moron who's only future prospects involve fast food, the adult film industry, and a trailer park.
In case there's anyone reading this who is accustomed to using Lazy Fuck and therefore having trouble understand anything I'm saying because the English portion of their brain has atrophied, I'll translate one last message. u r stupd, grow the fck up.
Ok, I went into this with the intention of typing this whole entry in text speak but realized very quickly I was not going to get through much more without getting so furious I'd throw my laptop out the window. But seriously... how lazy can you possibly be? Is it really that difficult or time consuming to type a vowel? Are you really so busy and important that the extra effort expended typing the E at the end of the word "be" in your facebook status is going to make you late for your next big meeting? No, you're just a lazy little shit. In fact, in honor of how lazy people who type that way are I'm going to rename it... it is no longer text speak (or txt spk), the new name for this language is Lazy Fuck (or lzy fck).
I will be the first to admit that I'm not a super highly motivated person, in fact in a lot of ways you could rightly call me kinda lazy, but it is a testament to how lazy of a society we live in when a three letter word like "you" becomes too much for us to handle. And I wish... oh how I wish!... it was just kids doing it, but no, people from all walks of life are killing their braincells communicating in Lazy Fuck instead of English. I used to nanny a little boy and whenever his mom would need to tell me something she would text me from work using Lazy Fuck. Seriously? This is probably the only "adult" communication I will get to participate in during my whole work day and I'm forced to waste it talking to what I can only assume is a 12 year old girl because I refuse to believe any self respecting 45 year old business women would type this way. I wish I was kidding when I said that communicating with the little boy required substantially less translation for me to understand then talking to her did. Congratulations... your two year old has a better grasp of the English language then you do apparently.
People will justify it "but it's just so much faster! Why would I want to waste time typing something long when I could just type something super short?" Because the rest of the world, and by that I mean those of us who are literate, can't understand a single thing you say. If you're bothering to type it at all I can only assume it's because you want people to read it, if not you're wasting time anyway so either way your logic is fatally flawed. Those of us who speak and type fluent English have to read something you wrote in Lazy Fuck ten times to figure out what it is you're trying to say... and most of us don't even bother because we know that typing in Lazy Fuck has made the odds that you're saying something worthwhile dwindle down to next to nothing and we don't want to waste our time. And if that weren't enough of a reason to use real words, you could just do it because you don't want to contribute to the stupidity rapidly overtaking our culture or just because you yourself don't want to come across as a moron who's only future prospects involve fast food, the adult film industry, and a trailer park.
In case there's anyone reading this who is accustomed to using Lazy Fuck and therefore having trouble understand anything I'm saying because the English portion of their brain has atrophied, I'll translate one last message. u r stupd, grow the fck up.
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